Life, Death and a BBQ Sandwich

aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnndddddddd nous sommes back!

goodness, where to begin? i've nearly forgotten how to write for fun. paraphrasing Ms. Annie Connolly "the world needs you to write, Dayton". You're right, Annie. You're right...but not handed. left-handed is all right with me. (see what i did there?).

I've been so wrapped up in the world of academia that i've long abandoned my speck of dust in the vast universe of cyberspace. In summation of the past 8 months or so, allow me to share with you an excerpt of a conversation i shared with Mr. Daniel Bollich (forgive me if it's not verbatim):

Me: "that's your term paper?"
DB: "yeah. it's on the psychology of fans and sports."
Me: "hey that sounds like a fun topic."
DB: "10 pages can take the fun out of anything."

onto the discussion of our title...but first, a little reference. let me, how you say, mis-un-scene:

the fall semester, for me, began with the death of my grandmother; a beautiful woman who gave all her life and love to her family. she lived in a small life, but with great influence and impact on the lives she touched. (more on that in my next entry)

a month or so later, a dear friend of mine, the beautiful Emily Richard, tragically lost her mother; deeply affecting her and her community of friends. now, i didn't know Emily's mom, but to have raised a daughter like Emily, she must have been a beautiful woman.

the following week we (my family and i) discovered that the cancer in my aunt's body had returned aggressively. she died a week later.

and not two weeks later, the mother of my soon-to-be roommate passed away after her bouts with sick.

death is real. and it is not fun. (fun fact: the leading cause of death is life.)

between losses i spent the majority of my time working a l'hotel and reading and evaluating french novels. i didn't go home much. the most i saw of my family was at funerals or wakes.

finding myself in the midst of this whirlwind of death, i naturally began to evaluate life and how i wanted to live it.

what's this all have to do with a BBQ Sandwich?

i like the night. i find that it contains a certain and appealing tranquility. i do most of my driving at night for that reason...and i don't like traffic. the drawback of driving at night is that most restaurants are closed by the time i get hungry. such was the case when i went to visit the folks late one night (stay with me. we're getting closer to the BBQ sandwich).

on that particular night my car needed gasoline. on that particular night i was quite hungry. on that particular night i stopped at the 5-Star Quick Stop in Moss Bluff, LA. on that particular night i ordered a (ready for it?) BBQ pork sandwich from their 24-hour grill.

(why are you still reading this?)

i unwrapped the sandwich (i took it to go) in my parked car in the driveway of my parent's house (i wasn't ready to go inside and it was 2 a.m.). like i said, i like the night. i appreciate it's tranquility. contemplation is rooted in tranquility. and in that tranquility i consumed my BBQ sandwich (have you realized that i really like the word 'tranquility'?). about halfway through, i noticed that the next bite was about to be the best bite of the sandwich. great bun/pork ratio, appropriate juiciness; just great. and so i took the bite. and it was delicious. then i looked at the rest of the sandwich and asked, "now what? now what can you offer me? the best part of you is done. finished." In my arrogance i sat; just finishing it off.

and with that i was snapped back into thinking about life, it's quality and how it's to be lived. you know, because i have all the answers.

i don't.

but i'm here in my mid-20s, looking at everyone around me. watching people take bites out of life.

some knit-pick at the edges, thinking what little they have is safely sufficient and never experience a great bite. some ambitiously or aimlessly bite off more than they chew, just rushing through the sandwich to finish it. some try to meticulously plan exactly when and where they're going to take that perfect bite (sometimes it works, sometimes it all falls out right when they're ready to take it). some are off-put by the texture and don't bother with it at all. some have it taken away before they can fully experience it. and some take it for what it is, and realize that while not every bite is going to be the best, they're still eating a pretty darn good sandwich.

so while you eat your BBQ sandwich, i hope that you can appreciate it in it's entirety. i hope you get a perfect bite. and i hope you finish it worthily.

Peace,
Daytona


“To live without faith, without a patrimony to defend, without a steady struggle for truth, that is not living, but existing.” - Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati